Hon. Anthony J. Ferrara
New York County Criminal Court
100 Centre Street
New York, NY 10013
Dear Your Honor:
It has come to my attention that George O’Dowd, a.k.a. Boy George, is in the position of needing to carry out community service. It has been reported that he wishes to serve as a make-up artist rather than suffer the humiliation of street cleaning. As he is a performer who has brought joy to millions over the years, I do not wish for Mr. George to suffer unjustly, but I do not think it would be fair to allow him to choose his own punishment.
Why not ask him to do what he does best? The season for class reunions is upon us, and who would not be totally stoked to arrive at his or her twentieth reunion of the class of ‘86 to find Boy George performing! I think you should order him to crash a few reunions and turn it into a reality show, similarly to how Oprah has been crashing weddings. The proceeds from advertisement on the show could go to a New York drug rehab clinic.
When you see Mr. George again, please blow him a kiss for me.
Truly,
Liz Mann
