Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
Leo W. O'Brien Federal Office Building
1 Clinton Square
Room 821
Albany, NY 12207
Dear Mrs. Clinton:
Happy 59th birthday! This may not reach you until the festive day has passed, but I do hope you take some time off from your busy schedule to relax and celebrate. I read that the turkey who considers himself a contender against you in the Senate race made some rude comments about your appearance. You are, of course, looking fabulous, and you should not have to even entertain such notions when you (along with the rest of us, via the media) have to endure looking at the ugly mugs on so many of the men in politics whose greed and lust for power show up on their faces in the form of permanent scowls and sneers.
While your current race will probably be a cakewalk, you must certainly be pondering strategies for your upcoming Hillary for President campaign. Since you will be doing something no woman has done before, you can write the rules as you go. I think you should surprise people by sexing up your campaign. If you want ideas on how to do this you should call up Loretta Nall who is a write-in candidate for governor in Alabama. She is blatantly exploiting her boobs in her campaign and it seems to be working out as a good strategy for her.
No one expects cleavage from a presidential candidate. Throw America a curve ball!
Truly,
Liz Mann
