Personnel Plans Office
Russell Offices
Department of Defence
Canberra ACT 2600
Australia
Dear Sir or Madam:
From what I have read of your military, it has a stellar reputation. Your country was one of those kind enough to lend a good number of troops during the U.S. invasion of Iraq, overlooking the lack of wisdom in our leaders’ choice of tactics.
It seems that you are less than likely to be preparing more troops for deployment to the Middle East, and more probably considering bringing your troops home. I certainly would not blame you. Your troops are needed by your country now more than ever; I read recently that you may be called upon to battle the growing numbers of Cane Toads that invaded your continent so many years ago and have since blown up in number.
I was thinking that it might be a good recruitment tactic to tell young Australians who show interest in the military that they may not see combat any more severe than an army of poisonous toads. But surely you do not wish to waste the time of your elite force on such a task as vermin control.
Perhaps this would be an appropriate time to call in the favor from the United States. Our country is having trouble maintaining a healthy number of people in the military, and have even relaxed our standards for recruits a bit. If we were to send a few hundred troops your way, it may not seem to be the wisest choice at first, but our recruiters could use the matter to their advantage. If the kids they approach fear the dangers of Iraq, one might mention to them that they have a decent chance of being deployed to your great continent to battle amphibians. It would almost certainly increase the numbers in our Army eventually. Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure we’d still send you some of our best. We owe you that much!
Truly,
Liz Mann
