LizLetters

Did I Think What I Thought?

Dr. Keith Thulborn
Director of MRI Research
University of Illinois at Chicago Medical Center
Department of Radiology (M/C 931)
1740 West Taylor Street, Room 2483
Chicago, IL 60612

Dear Dr. Thulborn:

    Today, as on the final day of most Decembers, it seems that many people are looking to the future with some mixture of hope and fear, wondering what the Fates have in store for  us and what we may be able to control, or change, in our lives. I found the story of your new functional magnetic resonance imaging machine quite fascinating, and I will not be surprised if it becomes incredibly significant in the near future.
    Your machine will surely be fodder for people’s hopes as well as fears. It is reportedly designed to help discover how people think. Though you’re not there yet, you are quoted as saying that you would like to be able to detect what people are thinking about.
    Of course, as technology progresses, we find ourselves sometimes facing a reality that was only dreamed about in science fiction novels and scripts decades ago. We also find our privacy and civil liberties threatened, and have cause to be suspicious of any technology that could turn our own thoughts against us.
    I would like to remain optimistic about your endeavors, for it could provide the individual with an amazing opportunity for self-awareness and self-improvement. This could turn cognitive behavioral therapy on its head. I have often had the desire to use meditation to calm my “monkey mind” and become more present in my life. It’s my standing “new year’s resolution,” although the monkey always wins out. It does amaze me, though, that at any given moment, most people are not really aware of what their mind is thinking about, or what impact these thoughts have on us.
    Please, just remember to use your discoveries for good and not for evil (as they say in the movies). Here’s to exploring the dark and mysterious universe that is the mind.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Operation Cane Toad

Personnel Plans Office
Russell Offices
Department of Defence
Canberra ACT 2600
Australia

Dear Sir or Madam:

    From what I have read of your military, it has a stellar reputation. Your country was one of those kind enough to lend a good number of troops during the U.S. invasion of Iraq, overlooking the lack of wisdom in our leaders’ choice of tactics.
    It seems that you are less than likely to be preparing more troops for deployment to the Middle East, and more probably considering bringing your troops home. I certainly would not blame you. Your troops are needed by your country now more than ever; I read recently that you may be called upon to battle the growing numbers of Cane Toads that invaded your continent so many years ago and have since blown up in number.
    I was thinking that it might be a good recruitment tactic to tell young Australians who show interest in the military that they may not see combat any more severe than an army of poisonous toads. But surely you do not wish to waste the time of your elite force on such a task as vermin control.
    Perhaps this would be an appropriate time to call in the favor from the United States. Our country is having trouble maintaining a healthy number of people in the military, and have even relaxed our standards for recruits a bit. If we were to send a few hundred troops your way, it may  not seem to be the wisest choice at first, but our recruiters could use the matter to their advantage. If the kids they approach fear the dangers of Iraq, one might mention to them that they have a decent chance of being deployed to your great continent to battle amphibians. It would almost certainly increase the numbers in our Army eventually. Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure we’d still send you some of our best. We owe you that much!

Truly,

Liz Mann

Housework Workout

Dr. Lesley Walker
Cancer Research UK
P.O. Box 123
Lincoln's Inn Fields
London WC2A 3PX

Dear Mr. Walker:

    I just read the good news that the moderate exercise provided by doing housework has been found to reduce the risk of breast cancer in women. I immediately saw that this information provided an opportunity for a dedicated entrepreneur. I figured I would make a video of myself doing housework and sell it as a workout video. Turns out it’s already been done by the UK’s own Lisa Brockwell!
    My other idea is a little riskier. I wonder whether I could advertise for women to clean my apartment and pay to do so. Those who do not have sixteen hours worth of housework to do each week must simply be dusting the same picture frames over and over. Households with more than one woman are sure to feel the strain of sisters or mothers and daughters competing for time with the vacuum. If demand is great enough, I could set up a network of people with extra housework that needs to be done and those who would like some to do.
    I’d like to thank you for providing the hard facts that could make this endeavor possible. Now if you wouldn’t mind conducting a study that concludes that men who do housework have no need for Viagra or performance enhancing drugs, you’d be making even more women happy.

Truly,

Liz Mann

I'll Have What She's Having

U. S. Food and Drug Administration
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville MD 20857-0001

Dear Sir or Madam:

    I just learned that you plan to allow meat from cloned animals to be sold as food. You are reportedly implementing a 90 day moratorium first to allow for public comment; I would like to take this opportunity to offer my comment: No!
    Meat and dairy from cloned animals reportedly would not have to be labeled as such. I do not purchase or consume meat, but I would go out of my way, when buying dairy products, to look for ones labeled as not coming from clones, as non-cloning companies would very likely take advantage of this as a selling point.
    I think cloning is just creepy. I believe that multiple negative consequences could result from allowing meat from cloned animals onto U.S. dinner tables. Cloning would become a more widely accepted practice, and new experiments would likely be met with less skepticism, thus perpetuating an attitude that animals are simply playthings for humans. This could also lead to an easier acceptance by the public of human cloning.
    My impression of cloning is that it is a rather expensive endeavor, and I am not sure how it can really be an attractive alternative to traditional breeding. I feel that food technology industries should be focusing on how to produce safe food cheaply and sustainably, and figuring out how to get basic whole foods to people who currently have limited access to it.

Truly,

Liz Mann

A Woman's Worth

Elaine Donnelly, CMR President
The Center for Military Readiness
P.O. Box 51600
Livonia, MI 48151

Dear Mrs. Donnelly:

    You are quoted a number of times in a recent New York Times piece about the “troubling” rise in the number of women killed during military service in Iraq and Afghanistan. To those who claim that a woman soldier’s life is equal to a man’s you say that “deliberate exposure of women to combat violence in war is tantamount to acceptance of violence against women in general.” As a nation, you say, it shows that we are “willing to tolerate violence against women as long as it occurs at the hands of the enemy.”
    This is certainly troubling, but I am not sure that it is more troubling than our acceptance of violence against men. Before these women appeared on the scene and joined the statistics of those killed in action, why did we tolerate and accept violence against male soldiers and their deaths in the thousands? Why do we continue to accept it but raise eyebrows when we see a woman’s name on the list of the dead?
    And if this recent phenomenon of female military personnel fatalities is a troubling sign that our nation is tolerating violence against women, why is it any less troubling that our nation seems to silently accept the rape, torture and murder of countless women in Africa at the hands of their “enemies”?
    I do believe that when a woman enters the military she should get full disclosure as to where she might be stationed and what level of danger she could be exposed to. But as long as she is not being deceived, I see no reason why she should be assigned to different types of duty from her male counterparts.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Canning The Carillon

Cynthia Kata, Borough Warden
Town of Griswold
28 Main Street
Jewett City, CT 06351

Dear Ms. Kata,

    I have found that I’m less grumpy about Christmas this year than usual. I generally become annoyed with the consumerism that runs rampant for about a month each year, and am glad when things return to “normal” in January. I think my newfound tolerance of all things Yule can be attributed to my daughter. She is two, and at a perfect age to enjoy the lights, decorations and music without yet understanding the concept of Presents. So she’s enjoying it for what it is and I have decided to do the same. The tunes can be annoying but are catchy and feed nostalgia. The egg nog and fruitcake are yummy. We celebrate a wise man’s birthday. Seems all right to me.
    So I am surprised when I read about how uptight everyone else seems to be these days. Young carolers were told to put a lid on it in Riverside, California so they would not offend a skater of a different religion. Christmas trees were taken down (and later put back up) at the Seattle airport when someone asked for equal representation for other religions’ symbols and the airport feared a lawsuit.
    Now a group of atheists wants you to pull the plug on your church bells. I must admit that although I enjoy the sound of bells echoing from a belfry, I might also find amplified canned bell music annoying. I would have to hear it to say for sure. But it seems that the music is generally accepted by your community, and that these few who are speaking out simply object to the Christmas theme rather than to the sound. Maybe they feel that this music is a subliminal attempt to call them into the Christian faith. Maybe they just feel left out. Whatever it is that’s making them grumpy, I think they’re being a bit extreme in their request. Christmas is simply too much a part of American culture to resist. And even if it did not exist, a shopkeeper would certainly have to invent it.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Have You Hugged Your ATC?

Ian Gregor, FAA Public Affairs Contact
Federal Aviation Administration Western-Pacific Region
15000 Aviation Boulevard
Hawthorne, CA 90261

Dear Mr. Gregor:

    I have seen several brief news items over the past few months about near-misses at airports. This is bound to happen once in a while, considering the vast number of planes that take off and land each day. Just recently, as you know, in nearby San Jose, there was a close call that was the result of the fatigue of an air traffic controller.
    Your own comments as quoted in the local news come across as almost callous. Three of the controllers employed at SJC were out sick from fumes to which they were exposed at the work site. You are quoted as saying: “Other people stayed and worked their shifts. Because these three controllers have taken all this time off, other controllers have had to work overtime to make up for them.” You seem to be blaming the victims here.
    As I looked into this matter I became troubled at the apparent rift between the FAA and the air traffic controllers themselves. On the web site for the National Air Traffic Controllers Association there are accounts of the FAA’s inadequate response to problems such as understaffing and other safety issues. On the FAA’s site, there is mention of grand plans to increase staffing over the next ten years, but part of the description of the plan for progress is troubling, for your organization apparently plans to “manage costs” by doing things such as reducing Worker’s Compensation and overtime costs, and have shorter training times. This provides little comfort. If workers such as those in San Jose are sustaining illness or injury on the job, I would expect them to be paid and compensated (they are reportedly not currently receiving pay or worker’s comp). Shorter training times sounds simply like a cut corner that could lead to disaster.
    I have immense respect for the women and men who perform such important work. They invisibly orchestrate safe passage for thousands each day. There is no excuse for allowing a situation to develop in which these people are working ten hour shifts. I hope that any petty differences between the bureaucracy and the workforce can be set aside, if nothing else then for the interest of public safety.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Baby's Book Of Shadows

The Witches’ League For Public Awareness
P.O. Box 909
Rehoboth, Massachusetts  02769

Dear Madam or Sir:

    I recently read about yet another case in which a parent is attempting to have the Harry Potter books banned from her child’s school because they supposedly make witchcraft attractive to children. According to the report, the Atlanta, Georgia mother claims the books are part of an attempt to “indoctrinate children in witchcraft.”
    As a mother of a two year old girl, I have a different problem. I would like to indoctrinate my child in witchcraft but I do not know the proper way to go about it! Although I have yet to read Rowling’s popular series, I get the impression that all the talk about the damage its contents can cause is, as they say, just so much “hooey.” Not that the books do not provide quality reading material, but I wouldn’t imagine that they are really the place to start for a kid’s intro to witchcraft. Others have observed that television shows such as “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” have attracted youngsters to the occult.
    I would like to preempt my child’s inevitable exposure to skewed representations of witchcraft, for, as you and your organization already know, it is so widely misunderstood. I have yet to come across a copy of “Madeline Joins a Coven.” Any ideas?

Truly,

Liz Mann

Anytown, Tanzania

Sauti Ya Siti Magazine
c/o Tanzania Media Women's Association (TAMWA)
PO Box 8981, Mkunguni Street, Dar es Salaam
Tanzania

Dear Madam or Sir:

    I learned of your publication through a story about Ms. Agnes Mbuyamajuu. She reportedly went to police after being beaten by her husband and was asked for money in order to “transport” the suspect. The fact that she is now speaking out about the police corruption she encountered and the lack of assistance available for women in her situation will, I hope, help to create a climate in which women will receive swifter justice in the future.
    Much of the news that reaches the U.S. about the women of Africa focuses on the victims of rape and other acts of violence in the context of war. Whether a result of domestic violence or a broader conflict, attacks on women seem to be almost commonplace. But as Natalie Bennett writes in the Guardian, these women are not victims due to their own weakness. A huge obstacle in preventing this violence and obtaining justice is deeply rooted in the culture.
    This is not to say that municipalities in Africa are more susceptible to corruption than anywhere else. I believe that globally we are slow to bridge a perceived cultural divide between African nations and Western nations. As more stories come out like Ms. Mbuyamajuu’s, of women who are claiming their own agency and fighting a personal battle that is familiar to women in every nation, we may experience increased awareness of the true experience of women in Africa.
    I am curious as to whether this particular woman’s case is evidence that women are generally finding more opportunities to stand up for themselves and try to effect change. I am glad to see that there are apparently many organizations in Tanzania devoted to advocating for women. Your publication reportedly might run a special issue on the various forms of violence against women. I hope that with the wide network of which you are a part, women indeed take advantage of and have access to these resources.

Truly,

Liz Mann

The Bell Can't Save You Now

Morgan Brown, Assistant Deputy Secretary
Office of Innovation and Improvement
U.S. Department of Education
400 Maryland Avenue, SW
Washington, DC 20202

Dear Mr. Brown:

    I just learned that some schools in the Boston area are doing something that would certainly fall into the category of “Innovation.” A few schools are experimenting with alternatives to the school bell. Some have tried music as cues, but I imagine that reminds some teens of the cell phones they were made to leave at home. Silence, I think, is the best choice.
    The bell is necessary for wrangling elementary school kids who mill in and out of buildings for recess and lunch, and it may still be the best solution in middle school, but in high school it does make sense to prepare students for the “real world” in which they will be expected to show up for work or a college class all on their own.
    Some teachers apparently have complained that students clockwatch for the last ten minutes of class when there’s no bell. From what I remember of high school, kids do this anyway, and also begin the loud process of packing everything up to go five minutes before the bell. Many of my teachers demonstrated that the bell could not override their authority and dismissed classes after the whistle had long since blown. The bell, I believe, is indeed obsolete. It never occurred to me to get rid of it, but now that some are, I realize that it makes perfect sense. The bell should have been retired long ago.

Truly,

Liz Mann