LizLetters

A Gray Panther Growls

Frances Shankman
2053 Partridge Lane
Highland Park, IL 60035

Dear Mrs. Shankman,

    I am writing to let you know that I admire the determination you exhibited in your battle to keep your phone number. At 81, I’m sure you remember the days when companies took pride in their services and in the way they treated their customers.
    My family recently went through a nightmare with our phone company as well. We were tempted by a moneysaving “bundle package” with internet and phone service offered by Earthlink. After switching, we were told that Earthlink could not in fact provide us with phone service. We ended up switching back to AT&T, which should have been quite simple (after all, their ads claim that someone switches back every eleven seconds). But the whole thing took about five weeks and more than six hours on the phone!
    Though I’m sorry you were given any trouble in the first place, it’s heartwarming to read about someone who refuses to back down.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Happy New Year!

Dear Readers,

    Happy new year! Well, yesterday I posted my 365th letter and it will be off in the mail after the holiday. It’s been an amazing year, with plenty of surprises and a few days I thought the project might not continue. But through hell and high water, the letters went out. A number of lovely replies came back, and often not from where I would expect. I began a correspondence with a woman in prison, heard from Tony Blair and the president of Liberia (or at least their representatives), and got a hand written note from the founder of IKEA.
    I will continue to write, post and send letters in the new year, though not each day. I am glad I made the commitment this year, and I learned that I can indeed stick to a writing practice, but there were a few too many nights when I fell asleep next to my daughter while putting her to bed, only to jolt myself awake at ten thirty and rush to the computer to blearily peck out a note to someone. I also learned a great deal about myself. This is not a confessional type of blog like many of the diarists out there write, but early on I saw patterns in my own interests, what drew me to a subject around which to form a letter. I often found myself writing on behalf of someone I thought was unjustly fired. Animal rights, human rights, censorship, and other themes came up a few times. On several occasions I could not resist the urge to write something a little snarky or satirical.
    So what have I accomplished at the end of all this? It feels good to have completed what I set out to do. Maybe I stirred things up a bit. After perusing several news sites every day for a year, I actually feel a little less optimistic about the power of the individual than when I started out. But based on a couple of e-mails I got, my efforts did make a difference in peoples’ lives, and that alone makes the effort worthwhile. Above all I hope that someone out there who has stumbled upon this blog decides to become a squeaky wheel and write that letter to a senator, company, or whomever they’ve been meaning to contact but just hadn’t sat down to do it.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Keggers And Communion

J. Brian O’Neill
O'Neill Properties Group
2701 Renaissance Blvd.
4th Floor
King of Prussia, PA 19406

Dear Mr. O’Neill:

    I just learned of your son’s housing situation that’s got his neighbors steaming. You reportedly purchased a house for him and eight friends to live in while attending college, and in order to get around a regulation against more than six unrelated people cohabiting, they formed a church. I’m not trying to question the legitimacy of this move, but the last thing we need these days is more organized religion, whether real or fake.
    I would like to suggest a couple of alternate solutions, in case the church for some reason disbands. I read that some neighbors would like to take you to court over the matter. One thing these fellows could do to get around the cap on unrelated residents would be for a few of them to marry one another. This would be doing a service to the gay community at the same time, as their demands for recognition of their unions would likely make the news. Something tells me, however, that they may not go for that idea. In the article that I saw there are two references to a poster of a porn star in the house. Another option would be for you to adopt some of these young men. You’d just be helping out your kids! Who could fault you?
    It’s a shame there are obstacles in the way of these guys living their dream. But sometimes you’ve got to fight for your right to party.

Truly,

Liz Mann

More Trouble In The Manger

Ron Wesselius
c/o Van Dorm Realty, Inc.
1530-F Black Lake Blvd. SW
Olympia WA 98502

Dear Mr. Wesselius,

    I wonder if you are as amazed as I am at how many news items are appearing regarding controversial holiday displays. You are all too aware, I am sure, of the tree fiasco at your airport. And now you yourself are in the news after suggesting that a crèche be displayed at the Capitol after a menorah was allowed.
    While crèches in general do not particularly thrill me, I agree that the addition of one would balance out any implication that one religion’s symbols were being favored. I say this because the trees currently on display could arguably be considered pagan symbols.
    I would not be surprised, however, if the reason that your request was denied is simply that officials have seen what sorts of trouble these nativity scenes are causing around the world. In Italy Ikea is under threat of a boycott simply for not carrying the items. In Chicago, dozens of baby Jesuses (Jesusi?) were stolen but later turned up, only a large scale example of thefts that have been occurring across the nation. I only just learned that in Spain (and who knows where else) a figure of a defecating peasant is a popular addition to the scene. I imagine the folks at the capital may simply be avoiding having to make the decision about whether or not to include that one.
    The whole crèche thing simply worries me. The outdoor ones are open to vandals, and the ones small enough to have indoors may give youngsters the idea that Jesus, Mary, and the gang are toys. I wonder how many of them have taken rides in Barbie’s car. And is there a baby seat for Jesus? No! This could really get out of hand. Maybe we should just leave it at candles and trees after all.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Careers For Crones

Mae Laborde
c/o Steve Lopez
Los Angeles Times
202 W. 1st St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Dear Ms. Laborde,

    Just wanted to drop you a note to say you’re an inspiration. I love to read about folks who begin a new career when most others their age have long since retired. I read about your budding acting career and how you burst onto the scene at age 93.
    Americans are so obsessed with careers and achieving success at a young age. I do not consider myself to be especially competitive, but since I currently spend most of my time as a stay-at-home mom, I fall into the mentality that I am missing something by not focusing on a career. Stories such as yours remind me that the “rat race” is not always the rule, and that I can indeed put off my Hollywood career for a few more decades.

Truly,

Liz Mann

No Room For The Manger

Alfredo Mantovano
Alleanza Nazionale
National Direction - Internet Office
39, Via della Scrofa - 00186 Rome

Dear Mr. Mantovano:

    I recently read that you are calling on the public to boycott IKEA because they do not carry nativity scenes. While I do not think it is fair to expect any one peddler of fine furnishings to supply a specific item, particularly if it is something that is widely available, the attention you have drawn to the nativity itself got me to thinking about the subject. For not only in your fair country of Italy, but here in America we, too, are experiencing controversy around nativity scenes.
    We have an animal rights group here called People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and they are keeping an eye out for folks who set up “live nativities,” for the animals used in these scenes are apparently often mistreated. Do you have a similar situation there?
    A baby Jesus was recently stolen from a crèche in someone’s yard, as if it was merely a garden gnome, but fortunately found its way home.
    I wonder, though, what the proper means of disposal is for these items. Certainly people’s nativity sets do not last forever, and must be discarded. Here in the U.S. there are specific procedures for disposing of a retired American flag, and I wonder why there do not seem to be any rules about display and handling of representations of Jesus. In the case of the stolen baby, a man found the plastic child on his doorstep and did not want to throw it away (who wants to throw Jesus in the rubbish bin?) so he put him in the garage.
    I hope that instead of focusing on the absence of nativities at a certain store, you will focus energy on raising awareness around the world about how to keep and protect the nativities they have.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Yes I Was A Frolic Girl

Karis Griffin, Cultural Arts Recreation Supervisor
c/o City of Oakland Office of Parks and Recreation
250 Frank H. Ogawa Plaza Suite 3330
Oakland, CA 94612

Dear Ms. Griffin,

    I was delighted to read that you are revitalizing the Christmas Pageant, or some version of it. I performed in the pageant twice as a child, and have fond memories of doing so. The strongest impression it left on me was a sense of hugeness. Of course, everything that seems huge when you’re in elementary school looks rather small years later, but looking back on the event, I am amazed that anyone would try to tackle the feat of wrangling so many kids (was it hundreds?), getting them into costumes and throwing them into an arena to perform.
    I remember the awe that surrounded Louise Jorgensen, as she was older then most of the kids’ grandparents and yet she hopped around town choreographing the acts.
    It’s great to know that more kids will get the chance to participate in such a special event.

Truly,

Liz Mann

More Dirty Plates

Ron Gabrielson, County Administrator
Freeborn County Courthouse
411 South Broadway
P.O. Box 1147
Albert Lea, MN 56007-1147

Dear Mr. Gabrielson,

    I try to be an advocate for people who are victims of unfair censorship. The story of your predicament caught my attention. It seems that the license plate for your car is being recalled because it says “FOAD1,” which many people interpret as “Fuck Off And Die” but you insist means “Freedom Offers Americans Democracy.”
    There was a similar case in Columbus, Ohio recently, in which a woman’s license plate came under scrutiny because it contained the acronym WTF. In her case, her use of these initials predated their now-common usage as “What The Fuck.” It represented an abbreviation of a family business name.
    I do not wish to offend you, but I am having some trouble believing that you meant for FOAD to have a purely patriotic meaning, and that you were completely innocent of its other usage. I have been unable to find other places where your definition is employed. Apparently someone uses it to mean Feed Our Adorable Dolphins. Is this a phrase of your own invention?
    Since I am somewhat skeptical about your situation, I find it difficult to support your cause. This is not about any desire to censor you. In fact, even if you did intend for your plate to mean “Fuck Off And Die,” I do not think your choice should be denied. I do believe, however, that you should exercise complete transparency.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Belly Laughs Banned

Kathy Carey
7202 Drought Spring Drive
Frederick, MD 21702

Dear Ms. Carey,

    I am writing to you because I feel you have made a hasty decision in dismissing volunteer cheerleading coach Christine Smith. According to a recent news report, Ms. Smith was relieved of her post as a result of a morale-building tactic she employed during a cheerleading practice. She drew a smiley face on her belly with the assistance of the head coach, and exposed the drawing at moments when the girls needed a reminder to smile.
    It is not at all clear to me what you are afraid of here. I do try to consider all sides of a situation before passing any judgment, but I am having trouble seeing how this decision is justified. It does not seem as if Ms. Smith was behaving in some sort of lascivious way or “flashing” the girls. I also do not think that these girls are likely to go out and perform some sort of Girls Gone Wild stunt, lifting their shirts around their necks in front of everyone. More damage is being done to them by removing someone who cares for them devotes time to and whom they are attached to than protecting them from some supposed wrongdoing.

Truly,

Liz Mann

The Right To Write

Elif Shafak
Middle Eastern Studies Department
University of Arizona
Tucson, AZ  85721

Dear Ms. Shafak:

    Congratulations on the birth of your first baby! I am writing to wish you luck not only in your new adventure as a mother, but in staying out of Turkish prison. Apparently the government of Turkey is not happy with the views expressed by the characters in your latest novel.
    As banned books week approaches (is there a banned books week in Turkey?), we in the United States have the opportunity to assess the state of the first amendment. We tent to tout our freedoms, especially in comparison with other countries. But particularly in the last few years our freedom of expression faces increasing challenges. Even the Dixie Chicks faced a tremendous backlash after speaking out against Bush. Afterward, though, other musicians were more free to do the same, as the Chicks absorbed the brunt of the initial outcry against dissenters.
    I do not know whether your position at an American university affords you more protection than you might otherwise have against prosecution, but I do hope for the best for you and your family, and I hope for a future in which we can write without fear.

Truly,

Liz Mann