LizLetters

A Gray Panther Growls

Frances Shankman
2053 Partridge Lane
Highland Park, IL 60035

Dear Mrs. Shankman,

    I am writing to let you know that I admire the determination you exhibited in your battle to keep your phone number. At 81, I’m sure you remember the days when companies took pride in their services and in the way they treated their customers.
    My family recently went through a nightmare with our phone company as well. We were tempted by a moneysaving “bundle package” with internet and phone service offered by Earthlink. After switching, we were told that Earthlink could not in fact provide us with phone service. We ended up switching back to AT&T, which should have been quite simple (after all, their ads claim that someone switches back every eleven seconds). But the whole thing took about five weeks and more than six hours on the phone!
    Though I’m sorry you were given any trouble in the first place, it’s heartwarming to read about someone who refuses to back down.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Chasing Che Away

Bob Ulrich, CEO
Target Corporation
1000 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN 55403

Dear Mr. Ulrich:

    I was dismayed to read today that your company decided to pull an item from stock because it had a picture of Che Guevara on it after you received complaints. Investors Business Daily had the gaul to compare Mr. Guevara to mass murderers such as Hitler, Pol Pot and Pinochet (whom the United States helped put into power!).
    True, Che Guevara employed some violent tactics during the Cuban Revolution. I am not condoning these actions, and I always hope that conflicts can be resolved by peaceful means. However, I would like to ask the complaining shoppers whether it is okay to occupy Iraq and subject its citizens to unnecessary violence but not okay to resort to violent acts in freeing one’s own people from a repressive government in a revolution?
    I have been impressed by the fact that your company seems to have managed to attain success while avoiding becoming a big box behemoth. I imagine you have received enough complaints about completely ridiculous things to know that the customer is not really “always right,” and I hope that you agree with me that in this case, the complaints did not truly warrant censoring Mr. Guevara’s image.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Seeing The Trees

Robert Birgeneau, UC Berkeley Chancellor
200 California Hall #1500
Berkeley, CA 94720-1500

Dear Chancellor Birgeneau:

    I am writing to express my support of the folks who are making a valiant attempt to save the oak grove near Memorial Stadium.
    As I understand it, the University wants to pave over the grove and build an athletic training facility. I feel that a very compelling argument has been made in favor of using an alternate site, such as Maxwell Field or 2223 Fulton Street, rather than destroying dozens of full grown trees and disrupting the ecosystem.
    My husband and myself both graduated from Cal, and we both support preservation of the grove. We still live in the area and visit the campus for events and to visit the University’s museum. I understand that athletics are important to the school, although neither my husband nor I place local sporting events high on our lists. It would be difficult for me to continue any support of an alma mater that exhibits a set of priorities so vastly different from my own, with little apparent regard for the natural wonders with which the campus has been blessed.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Lost His Lucky Charms

Ron Engeldinger
Dean of Student Affairs
The Art Institute of Portland
1122 NW Davis Street
Portland, OR 97209

Dear Mr. Engeldinger:

    I am writing to ask that you review the case of student Bob Averill from an objective standpoint and allow him to continue his education at your fine institution. A news report that I saw today describes an incident in which a student took offense at something Mr. Averill said about her spirituality. An outspoken atheist, Mr. Averill apparently made a flippant remark about his fellow student believing in leprechauns. This may have been poor judgment on his part, but I do not think it warrants his dismissal from school. The report suggests that his “aggressive” behavior in his attempts to defend himself following a four-day suspension.
    I spent many years in various academic institutions and I have witnessed some rather tense discussions between students, as well as between students and instructors. Things blow over. People move on. To cut off the trajectory of a student’s academic career is extraordinarily harsh. Particularly in an art school, I would expect that many of these students, just entering adulthood, are learning how to “be” in the world, and testing their boundaries, and of course feeling very passionately about the ideas that they’re forming and all they’re discovering. If your institution is not set up to handle this sort of interpersonal drama, then I believe you should prepare your faculty and staff for this sort of thing in the future.
    I would suggest also that the instructor for the course in which this incident took place should accept some responsibility. According to the report that I read, students had “finished” and were chatting “until class was over.” When teaching college-level courses I make every effort to keep the students engaged for the full designated class time. If I let class out early, class is out. I have not encountered the situation described, in which students are sitting around twiddling their thumbs in wait of some form of dismissal bell, since high school. If the instructor was present, he or she should have been active in the conversation and helped to mediate potentially volatile remarks. If class was over, then this is a personal issue and while Mr. Averill should be encouraged to apologize, academic consequences are not appropriate.
    I hope you will review this student’s case and offer him another chance.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Men On Change

U.S. Mint
Department of the Treasury
Customer Care Center
P.O. Box 869010
Plano, TX 75086-9010

Dear Sir or Madam:

    I have very mixed feelings about your recent announcement of a new series of dollar coins. You will be issuing coins bearing portraits of each of our deceased presidents. This could make history lessons much more fun for young collectors.  Indeed it will be a valuable learning tool for all Americans. I’m sure I could not name most of our past presidents, even out of order!
    I am concerned, though, by the fact that these coins nudge out the one venue women have had on U.S. money. Susan B. Anthony reigned on the dollar coin for years, and was replaced by another legendary woman, Sacagawea. Now these ladies must make way for a parade of forgotten presidents.
    This feels somewhat symbolic of women’s role in American history. Women held onto a token place in the world of currency, but will now have to step aside. The mint will reportedly have to continue manufacturing the coin depicting the Native American woman “by law.” Ten-dollar coins depicting the presidents’ wives will be made, but apparently these will be for collectors and not for general circulation, thus relegating the women to the status of being prized and collected, kept within the domestic sphere rather than participating in the world of commerce.
    Perhaps it is better, though, to leave the world of money to the men. Women have been trafficked and used as currency themselves quite enough. Let our figureheads simply guide the ships at sea and our bodies decorate the walls of the Met. At least until there’s a woman president.

Truly,

Liz Mann

Your Own Personal Jesus

David Socha, founder
one2believe
28010 Industry Drive
Valencia, CA 91355

Dear Mr. Socha,

    I am intrigued  by the line of Bible themed dolls you are producing. I became aware of your product as a result of the mini-fracas in the media resulting from Toys For Tots’s refusal of your donation of talking Jesus dolls. I have always meant to become more familiar with the Bible, as it has such a profound influence on our society and culture. I appreciate that you have summaries of fifty important stories on your web site. That can get me started with the basics.
    I do have some questions about your product line. What do these dolls say? And how did you choose the quotes? Though not well-versed in the contents of the Bible, I do know that Jesus said some very cool things. Also, what other characters do you plan on adding to the collection? I am a fan of Oscar Wilde’s play based on the story of Salome, and would probably be in the market for a doll, especially if it were to include seven veils. Is there an appropriate way to intervene if one discovers one’s child switching outfits between Jesus and Esther (you know how kids are!)?
    Thanks for your time. I look forward to learning more about these remarkable toys.

Truly,

Liz Mann

High And Dry

Jim Whitehurst, Chief Operating Officer
Delta Airlines, Inc.
P.O. Box 20706
Atlanta, GA  30320-6001

Dear Mr. Whitehurst:

    I am writing to inform you that after reading today’s news I will avoid Delta when selecting an airline for traveling in the future. A woman was reportedly kicked off one of your flights for declining to cover up with a blanket while breast-feeding. I am amazed that I still encounter stories of women being banned from nursing their offspring in certain public places. While your staff did not forbid her from offering her child nourishment, I believe she should have been allowed to do so without being asked to hide under a blanket.
    I can understand the response by Southwest airlines to the couple who nearly joined the Mile High club right in their seat(s). As a society we have not quite reached the level of tolerance where we can accept public sex, particularly in such close quarters. Thus I would not suggest that you allow suckling adult men on your flights. Suckling infants, however, should be free to dine in comfort. According to the news report I read, the mother was in a window seat with her husband beside her and “no part of her breast was showing.” I can not understand why she was offered the blanket in the first place. I hope that your future policies reflect an understanding and acceptance of nursing mothers’ rights.

Truly,

Liz Mann

AWID: Absent While In Debt

Citibank Customer Service
P. O. Box 6500
Sioux Falls, SD 57117

Dear Sir or Madam:

    I would like to share with you an idea I have for a new marketing campaign. I have noticed that in your “Live Richly” advertising campaign you focus on people utilizing their credit cards and banking tools to improve their quality of life. My suggestion is consistent with this philosophy.
    The United States military is apparently keeping troops from serving overseas if they have too much debt. They fear that these individuals could be “security risks,” distracted by their financial troubles and also more likely to “sell secrets or equipment.” This opens up a huge opportunity for lenders such as yourself to appeal to potential customers who do not wish to fight in overseas wars. This could apply to current military personnel and reservists as well as young folks who have a lingering worry in their minds about a possible future draft. If they keep finding new reasons to keep people from becoming soldiers I suppose they’ll have to institute the draft one of these days.
    The place to start with this campaign, of course, will be college campuses. You could set up a stand right next to the army recruiters! If you get enough of the American people to accrue debt that amounts to forty percent of their incomes, we may have to cancel the war altogether!

Truly,

Liz Mann

The Other Oil Crisis

Jamie Oliver
P.O. Box 51372
London
N1  7WX
England

Dear Mr. Oliver,

    I see that you are doing in England similar things to what Alice Waters is doing here in the Bay Area in California. That is, you are working to get school kids eating better food. While it comes as no shock that the kids often balk at having the usual greasy fare replaced with healthier alternatives, I was surprised to read that this type of program has met strong resistance from parents. Some apparently bring fast-food take-out to their kids at lunch!
    It must truly be difficult for these parents, for if their kids refuse to eat anything but the junk they’re used to, their parents might naturally be afraid that their kids just won’t get fed. What is a parent to do? Around here parents and educators have various opinions on the matter as well. Of course parents want their kids to eat something, and if they don’t want “gourmet food,” a pack of greasy fries (chips to you) is better than nothing, right? Some say you can provide healthy food without going overboard with the haute cuisine.
    On behalf of America, I would like to apologize for sending the plague of McDonalds and other establishments of that ilk to your shores. I recently read that the amount of cooking oil children consume in the UK due to their “crisp habits” is astounding.
    Changes are coming about slowly, and even as they do, a huge number of America’s kids are receiving poor nutrition both at school and at home. I imagine the case is very similar there. Thanks for your efforts in providing kids the opportunity to be healthier,  thus giving them better odds for future happiness and success.

Truly,

Liz Mann

A Cosby Cause

L. Douglas Wilder
900 E. Broad St. Room 201
Richmond, VA  23219

Dear Mayor Wilder:

    I just read about the slavery museum you have planned. Mr. Bill Cosby has put out a call for each American to contribute eight dollars toward the effort.
    Although he has received some criticism for statements he has made in the past year or so, particularly regarding the African American community, when Mr. Cosby speaks, I, and surely many others, listen. When I was growing up he was in my living room regularly, as one of the funniest and most respectable fathers on television. His reputation can not be shaken by a few controversial comments. On the contrary, I feel that as we get older, we have an obligation to become more outspoken, opinionated and crotchety.
    Mr. Cosby is quoted as saying he thinks that this sort of campaign is seldom successful. However, two school projects for holocaust memorials have had astounding success in recent years. One school solicited six milliopn paper clips, and more recently a school brought in a million and a half pennies.
    Although Mr. Cosby will not convince me to buy Jell-o (my diet is free of horse hooves), I feel compelled to respond to his paternal nudge and send off a few bucks for a good cause. You will find eight dollars enclosed.

Truly,

Liz Mann